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One month smoke free…. so what?

December 28, 2017

….it is really weird because now with one month of not smoking under my belt I am getting more frequent and stronger urges to smoke than when I first quit. The urges are followed by thoughts that stopping is not making any physical difference or it is only $300 a month saved, not enough to get excited about. The battle goes on and who knows how it will be in the end all I know is that by now your tired of thirty days of blogs about the ups and downs of a reformed nicotine junkie and its time to look to the new year and which path I will take.

I think I’ve made my decision on which path to follow…. one way is ensconced in security and comfort surrounded by nearby civilization while the other promising nothing but a more basic way of life away from any pretense of modern civilization. Now I having spent two hot summers in Texas have found that my blood runs cold when it is barely un-warm whereas for almost two decades when the temperature was 20 or 30 my mind would wonder to hours spent on the banks of a stream chasing a fish who had long ago learned to ignore man made lures.

I also have become accustomed to a nearby supermarket where I no longer agonize over writing a supply list for a twice a month three hour drive to town to resupply. Instead I now barely think in terms of a few days ahead when it comes to my provisions. When you add all this to water and electricity at the wave of a hand and not only a year round refrigerator but hot running water whenever I want it and you have a situation where any normal person would think you crazy to leave.

But I have never been known to be sane in the sense of fitting in to civilized life, after all I have my whole life been just a tad off center when looking at what made me content. Yes my body is now turned like a human compass and has started pointing toward the Northerly path, now one must simply decide what is the best choice before taking that first step.

Human compass pointing North
or
magnetic attraction of a life once lived

I know full well that at 72
this shall no doubt be my last major turn on life’s road
and age is no doubt
magnifying the fear of that decision.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. Fred permalink
    December 29, 2017 8:08 am

    Congrats on a month of smoke free life!! It’s amazing how your sense of smell and taste return after quitting smoking. That’s probably why so many people gain weight….everything just tastes so much better! Good luck on your choice of path….I know which fork I’d take. This question I ask may shock some younger folk…but this is reality….Where do you want to be when you pass (as in kick the bucket…croak….buy the farm….etc) ??? 73…de…Fred N9TA

    Liked by 1 person

  2. December 29, 2017 8:42 am

    Congrats Pete on the first month. As I mentioned in an earlier reply. It’s those ” sneak attacks” of that monkey that make it harder for some time after you have settled in to not having it on your back all the time.
    Fred is right. Where do you want to make you final stand?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dwight permalink
    December 29, 2017 1:19 pm

    Hello Pete,

    Don’t forget the health benefits of kicking smokes: avoid CPOD, avoid heart disease, avoid cancer too. No oxygen bottles required!

    Have a great New Year… Dwight

    Liked by 1 person

  4. unalaska permalink
    December 31, 2017 6:13 am

    So, truly, if you are thinking of heading north, you will have to make those accustomed amenities common to your northern life. You have to make it easier on yourself than the first time around. You’ve already proven yourself. Now is the time for a little comfort to make the transition palatable…especially for old bones, haha. What an awesome job you are doing with the NO SMOKING!! It’s never easy. I still think about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jon permalink
    December 31, 2017 11:28 pm

    I guess I somehow knew you would someday begin to focus on a return to Alaska i spite of the conveniences you enjoy now. Unalaska makes some good points if you do. You don’t have to go that far; this morning it was -45 at Embarrass, Mn. And on Dec. 27th was in the mid-(-30s all over northern Mn. as it was this morning.
    Great news on your smoking quitting & HAPPY NEW YEAR!! to you, Pete, & everyone on here!

    Like

  6. January 1, 2018 3:03 pm

    I look forward to reading more of your adventures……. wherever they take you.

    Like

  7. TriciaLynn Burokas permalink
    January 1, 2018 8:39 pm

    I feel the same as grammomsblog i look forward to reading more of your posts from whearever you make your stand.

    Like

  8. January 9, 2018 8:30 pm

    Congrats Pete! It’s a tough row to hoe, but keep taking it a day at a time. 😃

    Like

  9. May 31, 2018 1:28 pm

    Congrats on being smoke-free, especially after a 54-year habit/addiction! Earlier this year I stopped for a month due to illness…thought I had quit for good, but I was wrong.

    Maybe I missed a post where you addressed this already, but have you considered living in a small rv of some type? A home-on-wheels that allows you to change locations to suit your mood.

    Like

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