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The unending search for purpose in life

July 11, 2016

Prologue…

Dear reader I believe no mater who you are there are times when all of us has a dark cloud pass over our soul, and what follows is the result of one passing through my consciousness yesterday. It was so intense it motivated me to put what I was feeling into words, so that others who experience this will understand they are not alone. Then last night a brief torrential downpour not only washed the environment clean, but my mind as well, and this morning a with a mild temperature and slight breeze my mind and soul was back to its grumpy old self.

DSCF2978

‘p0p’ by Anthony

There are times when I look down the road ahead and see… nothing. A blank void where nothing has any meaning and is illuminated only by violent flashes of lightning that appear as if they could literally tear the would apart. When in my life did I arrive at a place like this? At what point did my life of walking forcefully in one direction have no more foothold? …and what if anything should I do about it?

Growing up we have a tendency to try new things, ignoring any possible harmful ramifications, because we are looking for purpose in our lives. At times these ramifications take on a life of their own and blind us to the quest we were originally pursuing. Some detours were not unexpected like military service but these only halted our quest for a short time. Others like marriage and family totally stopped any further quest because they would involve total commitment for the rest of our life… maybe.

With family one’s children grow and leave for their own personal quest but with marriage we know it is ’till death do you part’. Well guess what, that one bond we have with all of humanity death, it does come to your partner in the marriage and then… oh yes then we are truly adrift. After decades upon decades never opening the mental closet with the armor we used on our quest we are once again facing that original, what will we do with the rest of our life.

Some never recover from the pain of that life long love, others open the closet and done their sword and walking stick and continue the quest. But then there are others who after walking the road and searching for that unknown thing that will make their life full of purpose, stop and say it is enough. They find a comfortable place to hide from their consciousness and live not for the quest but survival.

But even then life is cruel and as we get older that very survival becomes harder and harder, until you surrender and crawl out of that mental hiding cave and move to anyplace that can make your old age a bit easier. However like I just said life is cruel and even in that ‘new world’ of comfort you find that there is still no purpose in life……

Looking back at almost a century of this quest
one wonders if it is time to walk into
the lightning
or walk much slower forward
to the end of the road.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Terry permalink
    July 11, 2016 12:35 pm

    Life is complicated. And time doesn’t stop. For you, yesterday, the rain storm. And I always look forward to that first cup of coffee in the morning….

    Like

  2. July 11, 2016 1:04 pm

    Yes, life does give us these dark clouds, but they are always followed by bright sunshine. It’s not easy to come to terms with change, however big or small, but in the end change is usually inevitable. How one embraces that change can make the difference not for oneself but also for others around us.

    Like

  3. Jon permalink
    July 11, 2016 1:51 pm

    Can’t add to what Terry & storki posted, but I do appreciate the pics you’ve posted since you moved from Alaska. Particularly the one of the directional sign from Prudhoe Bay. Definitely an Alaska memory for me.

    Like

  4. July 11, 2016 3:58 pm

    Seems like I love a life of survival. It’s definitely not satisfying my soul but it is what it is. Meanwhile I take photos and keep my feelings to myself. Kind of a lonely existence really. I figure many are worse off than me so I try to look at the bright side. But once I awhile I’ll make a connection with someone who really sees me and the. I want to cry.

    Like

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