December 2, 1964…a personal retrospect
I think in sharing it others may benefit from my experience
We had been sitting here for quite a while now, just watching the swiftly flowing river pass by. It was a silent moment of thought about the things were were just talking about, punctuated with the sound of the air moving the tree tops layered over the almost inaudible hiss of the passing water. Our conversation ended with a reminisce about our ‘honeymoon’. Not a normal honeymoon in the sense of going away right after the wedding, because I was leaving for the Far East the following week. In fact it was eleven years after we were married before we could afford to go on our ‘honeymoon’.
These new frequent outings to the rivers edge had come about by what I now consider an act of God. For years I was too wrapped up in supporting the family with at times two extra part time jobs and then in my free time being a typical male, by ignoring my wife’s need for us to have some time alone just to talk. It’s funny we never seem to see the true reason for things that happen in our lives until quite a bit of time has passed.
It seems now that I am getting older I am thinking less about the future than was has transpired over the course of my life, and if there can be one glaring example of the handwork of God it was in April of 1993, when I broke my wrist. It not only stopped me from working any jobs but focused my attention on to my wife. She had been diagnosed with Scleroderma and it was concentrated in her lungs. Fortunately it was in her case a slowly progressing form and we were to have many years left together.
With the broken wrist and no work to go to we evolved into a routine of me taking her out much more than we did before my accident. You see she also had generative arthritis in the hips which made walking any distance impossible. So I rented a wheelchair and we started to go out and share our days together. One of her favorite spots was on the banks of the Neshaminy Creek, where we would bring a lunch and just talk…unlike we ever did before.
I bring this up because she died in May 1993, two months after my accident and without that accident I would never have shared those hours alone with her. It is now decades later and I regret that I was such a selfish husband never thinking of what she needed. And too late realized that it took the hand of God to make me stop that life and open myself to her needs.
A wedding anniversary awakens many memories
and as long as we remember those that passed
they will always live on….in our hearts.